ORIGINAL POST: OCTOBER 12, 2018
Dear Acting President Tom:
Today my wife is taking another day off from work to take care of me recovering from treatments. I would like to repay her by taking a trip to Unit 906, formerly Engineer’s Unit. By the way, since you’re storing about a dozen bankers’ boxes of accounting records there, why didn’t you rename it the Accounting Library?
Before I begin, let me remind you, an attorney, about my October 4, 2018, blog post after you and the board laughably declared at the October 3, 2018, board of directors’ meeting, that Unit 906 has been a common area during all of 2018. It was laughable because at the previous board meeting in July 2018, before you were elected director, the board was discussing renting out the “Engineer’s Unit” but Treasurer Oberland had to do her purported due diligence on the rental rate. But between you and me, I know you’re trying to save corrupt former Director and Developer Howard Robinson’s behind for committing property tax fraud by filing a false affidavit with the Cook County Property Tax Office in order to evade paying taxes on the Engineer’s Unit.
As you can see from the above blog post, 765 ILCS 605/10 (a) which states:
(a) Real property taxes, special assessments, and any other special taxes or charges of the State of Illinois or of any political subdivision thereof, or other lawful taxing or assessing body, which are authorized by law to be assessed against and levied upon real property shall be assessed against and levied upon each unit and the owner’s corresponding percentage of ownership in the common elements as a tract, and not upon the property as a whole. For purposes of property taxes, real property owned and used for residential purposes by a condominium association, including a master association, but subject to the exclusive right by easement, covenant, deed or other interest of the owners of one or more condominium properties and used exclusively by the unit owners for recreational or other residential purposes shall be assessed at $1.00 per year. The balance of the value of the property shall be assessed to the condominium unit owners. In counties containing 1,000,000 or more inhabitants, any person desiring to establish or to reestablish an assessment of $1.00 under this Section shall make application therefor and be subject to the provisions of Section 10-35 of the Property Tax Code. [emphasis added]
The bad news is Mr. Attorney, that in order to qualify for a $1.00 assessment per year, it must be used exclusively by the unit owners for recreational or other residential purposes. Moving a dozen boxes of accounting records from the former doormen’s locker room to Unit 906 doesn’t make it qualify as a common area.
So I have an idea that may help you in your current predicament. Why don’t you let my wife and I spend the day today in unit 906? The doorman won’t give me the key to Unit 906 unless he receives authorization from management.
We can spend the morning looking at the bogus accounting records that are currently being stored in Unit 906, reflecting on the various fraud and deceptive practices the board and management engaged in. Heck, I might even find those three weeks of telephone log records the federal Defendants and their attorneys couldn’t find and produce during discovery.
Then late morning, I’ll remove all my clothes so the hot sun can give me both a radiation treatment and a very nice tan without tan lines.
Then I’ll put my clothes on and help my wife cook a nice lunch and enjoy the city views.
Then, if you’d like, I can invite my friends, Pat and Jeff, over to Unit 906 help me destroy and remove the toilet and whatever else destruction you might need. Just wink at me if you want it done so you can commit property tax fraud without leaving a paper trail. (Pritzker apparently made the rookie mistake of having a letter sent to the contractor that the Cook County Inspector General used as evidence of Pritzker’s intent to defraud property taxpayers.)
Last, but not least, you will be able to keep evading taxes on Unit 906 because it does not have a functioning toilet by filing a truthful affidavit but without mentioning your wink to me. Since there will be no paper trail, the authorities won’t find me unless they read my blog. This way you’ve met your burden in protecting former director and past president Howard Robinson for his property tax crime(s). Meanwhile, State Parkway should be blessed to have a board president that is also an attorney.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
P.S. Did anyone ever tell you that you look like a clone of Jack Black and the late Chris Farley? I’m dead serious, I see a lot of both in you.
P.S.S. Don’t forget the recent Boucher v. 111 East Chestnut Appellate Court Opinion, that the Illinois Supreme Court recently refused to hear, paragraph 62 states:
“But board members have fiduciary duties of honesty and full disclosure to all residents and owners of the condominiums they manage—even if the residents or owners are consistently rude, arrogant, and obnoxious. Persons who cannot bring 22 No. 1-16-2233 themselves to disclose honestly to any owner all that they find out about the owner and the owner’s unit should not take on positions of extreme trust.”
That means the board’s lying days are over.